Conversations with My Son

Son: Mom, stop the car!
Me: Why? Please don't scream like that when I'm driving.
Son: I lost a lego piece behind the seat.
Me: How many times have I told you not to bring legos in the car? I can't remove the seat.
Son: But I neeeeed that piece!
Me: Well, whose to blame for it getting stuck behind the seat?
Son: Darn gravity!

Me: If you keep using the wrapping paper to wrap up your cat and dog gifts (not really, he's just re-wrapping old toys), there won't be any left for your presents.
Son: That's ok because we need to save the trees by not wasting paper. Just put them under the tree as is.
Me: What about the paper you just used to wrap the cat toy?
Son: That's ok because he mostly plays with the paper, so it's not wasted.

Me: I'm making you eggs and bacon for lunch ok?
Son: What have I told you about eating eggs?
Me: What?
Son: Chicken eggs are supposed to hatch into chickens.
Me: Not these eggs, they are not fertilized.
Son: Well then, we need to get a rooster.
Me: Uhmm, yeah, no.