Apr 29, 2008

Who are all the experienced mothers?

Recently while at the grocery store with my son, I was stopped in the formula isle by a pregnant woman who wanted some advice from "an experienced mommy".

When I realized she was talking to me, I wondered what made her think I had any wisdom to offer.
Was it merely the fact that my son had survived to age 3, or was it that she noticed his obvious health and vigor, therefore I surely know what’s best to feed a child.

Odd as may have sounded to hear myself referred to as experienced, it was odder still that in my own mind I was stumbling down motherhood’s corridors blindly dragging my son along behind me.

So I ask you, at what point do you become an experienced mother?
Throughout my pregnancy I never missed a beat. I was well read, well fed and very ready for labor and delivery. I had no questions, medical or emotional that I hadn’t already learned the answers to myself.
If there was such a thing as an experienced pregnant woman, I was it! Luckily for me I also had a support system of friends and family that understood this and didn’t treat me like a helpless imbecile.
Infancy was a breeze, he thrived and I again was ready! Then around 18 months or so things changed. He decided to have an opinion of his own on some issues and because of an obvious language barrier, my well of resources dried up quickly.

To this day, I wake up every morning wondering who he is going to be today and no amount of prep work can prepare you for that.
Have I learned some things? Sure. Will they help another mother? Maybe, but the one thing I do know is that you have to find your own wisdom and share it with your child. What works today, may not work tomorrow and that’s ok.

As women, we all know at our core being that we really have been “experienced” mothers long before conception!


Victoria said...

Wonderful post, and great question! The first time I ever allowed myself to feel like an experienced mom was when my oldest left for college this year. For the first time, I really allowed myself a pat on the back for helping her arrive at this new stepping off point. Most of the time though I have felt like I am stumbling in the dark, hoping and praying that I don't mess this most important job up too much. Of course I still have one at home, and with each child it's a whole new ball game. I am still fumbling, and trying my best to get it right.

BabyLyons said...

Great post! Yes, I am far from experience, I have a 3 1/2 month old that freaks out at me every time I feed him and I don't know why......that's my problem of motherhood right now....and I'm sad to know that he's going to change, that I'll meet so many different Calvins and once one is gone, he's not coming back :(
And right now instead of eating he's sticking his fingers in his mouth, staring at me and talking when just a second ago he was screaming, lol, I love this little guy :)

Ka Nani Essentials said...

WOW - Thanks for a great post!!

I think you nailed it on the head with this.....

"What works today, may not work tomorrow and that’s ok."

When we become at peace with this then maybe we are experienced!!!

LOL - God knows I don't have it down!!

Thanks for the encouragement :D

Purseonality Bags said...

what a great post - thought prevoking question. I never considered my self an experienced mom (even though my daughters are 19, 16 and 12) but when I started watching children in my home, I realized that other women consider mothers with older children "experienced". The only mother that I have ever considered experienced is my mom. Always calling her for advice.

Gracie Bird said...

What a wonderful post. Ditto what Purseonality said, MY mom is the experienced one. Me? I've only been at it for 24 years and don't when I'll feel like I've mastered motherhood.

Nodin's Nest said...

Thanks everyone for reading,nice to know I'm not the only one with these thoughts.

Jo said...

Great post, experience is a work in progress. I am a gran and constantly learning.

ElegantSnobbery said...

Fantastic post! I consider myself more of an overwhelmed mother, than an experienced mother.

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