Today I left my house without my son. No big deal right? Most parents do that occasionally at least. I however, rarely do. My son has been with me daily since he was born. That was the way I planned it. Being self employed, it was easy to do.
So this morning, my mother and brother came to spend time with him while I ran errands and did my pet sitting rounds. I admit that I do feel odd when I look in my rear view mirror and he's not in his car seat. For a slight second I think, where is he? Is he safe?
Add to that the questions and looks I got all day from people who are used to seeing him with me, and I came home with a huge case of "mommy guilt".
The bank teller with lollipop in hand, "Where's your son, is he not with you?", almost sounded accusatory. Then the guard at the gated community where I was walking a dog, strains his neck to peer in my back seat and scan the floor boards looking for obvious mommy violations. I just smiled and said "He's with Grandma." I don't know if he believed me.
This went on everywhere I went! I know he's a great kid, and sure everyone loves him, but give mom a break! Why can't I go out alone? It's not like I was even doing anything fun, just the same stuff I do everyday, only without him. I realize, that some of this is self-imposed guilt. I'm sure none of those people really think I did anything awful to my son, right? They were just concerned because they see him with me everyday, right? Yeah, I'm sure that's all it was...