tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post6698743560838957779..comments2023-07-01T10:16:34.092-04:00Comments on Nodin's Nest: Toilet Training An Older ChildDJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11126713873653931118noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-60440107769460990442012-09-25T17:30:11.700-04:002012-09-25T17:30:11.700-04:00I am so glad to find this site!! Like everyone els...I am so glad to find this site!! Like everyone else, I am so relieved to find I am not the only one. I hope it encourages someone to know that I am the mother of nine kids...all successfully potty trained, some quite early. Now for child number nine. He is four years old and absolutely will not poop in the toilet. He stays dry all night and no worries during the day, but the poop issue is driving me crazy! I've tried rewards, praise, taking away privleges, making him sit on the toilet, etc, etc. Just wanted all of you to know that you're not a bad parent if your older kid isn't getting it yet. Whatever worked with my first eight sure isn't working with number nine. Hang in there, and I'm so glad to hear from all of you!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-14355966678182267522012-08-05T04:09:42.244-04:002012-08-05T04:09:42.244-04:00Oh, my goodness. I'm so glad to hear that we&...Oh, my goodness. I'm so glad to hear that we're not the only ones going through this. (And so glad to see updates from those who have made it through to the other side!)<br /><br />My son is nearing five and I'm at my wit's end. He is a smart, caring, attentive little guy...with absolutely ZERO interest in using the potty.<br /><br />My husband and I were determined from the very beginning not to push him. We figured he'd get it when he was ready. He was actually about nine months old when he started getting really, really interested in the potty. We brought in a little potty for him and set it up in our bathroom, but didn't make a big deal about it or try to force him to use it. He was SO excited by it. He wanted to play with sitting on it for a little while, then kind of lost interest for a few months. But, somewhere between 12-18 months old HE decided that he wanted to start using the potty.<br /><br />We were rocking right along until we moved when he was 19 months old. Neither my husband nor I were the least bit surprised or upset when our son lost interest in the potty with the move. It was to be expected. But, again, after we were settled into the new house for a few months, he started making overtures that he was interested and started trying again. We actually reached the point that he'd put on underwear right out of his nighttime diaper and he was really excited about it. (Granted, he'd pee through all of them pretty quickly if I wasn't on top of asking him if he needed to potty, but, still.)<br /><br />I really thought he was RIGHT THERE and then, when he was 2.5, our world turned entirely on it's ear. There was a traumatic experience (not potty related), that ended with a hasty move halfway across the country. I was hugely pregnant with our daughter, we ended up all squashed into a spare room at my mom's house while we tried to find someplace to live, my daughter was born just a few days later and way too early so she was hospitalized for awhile, as soon as my daughter was home (to my mom's house), my sister was diagnosed with cancer and her husband left her with two very young children, and then we moved into out own house. It was a VERY stressful summer for all of us. Needless to say, potty training came to a screeching halt.<br /><br />I'd like to say that I handled it well, but didn't. It was stressful for me to see him take such a big step backwards just as I had a newborn who needed so much extra attention. And it infuriated me that he flat out told me he wasn't using the potty anymore because he didn't want to. I did (and do) recognize that it's the one thing he had control over, though.<br /><br />But now, he's almost five. Any mention of using the potty sends him over the edge. He won't wear underwear. He won't wear pull-ups. As smart as he is, and as much as he craves the interaction with his peers, he hasn't been allowed into preschool because he's not potty trained.<br /><br />My smart boy has become a master at manipulation. Stickers and charts and bribes do NOT work with him.<br /><br />My daughter has just turned two and started to get very interested in the little potty (which my son has outgrown) at about 18 months. My husband and I had taken all pressure off of our son by then and I was hopeful that seeing his little sister out of diapers would propel my son out of them, too. That was a great big fail. As excited as our daughter is about using the potty and wearing underwear, she's much more interested in doing whatever her brother does and he proclaims loudly that he will "never, ever, NEVER use the potty".<br /><br />Wit's. End.Kizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11310502620219636246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-75121033381004725142012-07-31T21:17:45.806-04:002012-07-31T21:17:45.806-04:00I know it's wrong, but I find comfort in this ...I know it's wrong, but I find comfort in this blog! I am a disabled parent and I struggle with my son about potty training. He's 4 and everyone has been trying to pin the "autism" bit on him in my family because of it. I said that there are other children that don't get potty trained by this age but I know they don't believe me. It is very difficult for me to go up and down stairs every 30 minutes to see if I can catch the pee in the toilet. Like everyone else here, he won't go but then wets or has a bm within seconds of leaving the bathroom sometimes. Other days he will wear the underwear and we will go out to a store and come back and he'll be dry. I'll make a big fuss and tell him how great it is only to have him decide to poop later in the evening once my husband comes home which is the subject of fights. I'm putting him in 3 year old preschool in september hoping he'll catch up by the time kindergarden rolls around. In the meantime, I wish you all extra sleep because I know this is very tiring!bohemeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04829955834418524647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-64763483496186272852012-05-08T10:07:50.140-04:002012-05-08T10:07:50.140-04:00My son was reading at 24 months, doing second and ...My son was reading at 24 months, doing second and third grade level math in his head at three. Recently we even discovered he can play music by ear! But now at nearly FIVE YEARS OLD he might not be able to start kindergarten because he's not potty trained. <br /><br />I've literally tried everything. Thanks for at least letting me know I'm not alone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-35444081909413693812012-03-29T15:06:48.877-04:002012-03-29T15:06:48.877-04:00My daughter will be 8 this fall and she refuses to...My daughter will be 8 this fall and she refuses to use the toilet for any body functions. She puts on a pull-up, does her business - will change the wet ones, but not the poopy ones. We have seen many doctors/pediatricians and she has been taking counselling and nothing is making her change. She is a very smart child, and there is absolutely no reason for this. One pediatrician says it is a phobia....how do I fix that?? Hopefully it's true, they won't go to college in diapers:(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-49352686938029024092012-01-17T14:25:27.205-05:002012-01-17T14:25:27.205-05:00Thank you to everyone for these posts! I have bee...Thank you to everyone for these posts! I have been feeling SO alone for so long over this. My son is SIX years-old and in kindergarten and still refuses to use the potty for both BMs & urination. We have been seeing a behavioral therapist for about 9 months without any luck. The therapist is stumped. My son seems truly and genuinely afraid of the potty itself. He has no other learning delays or physical issues of any kind and, according to his teacher, is actually one of the sharpest and most social kids in his class. He has full control over his bowels and when he needs to go, he goes to the bathroom, puts on a pull-up, sits on the potty in the pull-up, makes a BM, empties it into the potty, wipes himself, disposes of the pull-up and washes his hands. However, he absolutely refuses to make a BM without the pull-up and will use a toddler sized urinal but will not urinate in the toilet. We have even tried floating those little flushable foam cheerios in the toilet to make it a game and also let him decorate the adult potty with stickers. <br /><br />The only thing that keeps me from feeling even worse about this situation is that my younger son has been 100% potty-trained since age 2 years 5 months (he's now 4 y.o.). I just keep telling myself that my 6 y.o. will eventually do it but I am terrified about him starting 1st grade next year since it is a full day. Amazingly, he has never had an accident at school and just holds it until he has access to a pull-up or a urine receptacle besides a toilet (urinal or portable urinal). However, he has had some pretty awful constipation episodes in the past and we have even tried the Miralax route (at the pediatrician's suggestion) with no luck. So frustrating & worrisome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-74724793432160493872011-12-20T17:29:07.031-05:002011-12-20T17:29:07.031-05:00I just found this while googling 'potty traini...I just found this while googling 'potty training an older child', and I love that I'm not the only one! This is SOOO frustrating! I potty trained my first son at 3.5; boy #2 just DOES NOT CARE if he pees in his underwear, on the dining room chair, on the couch, in the playroom, etc. Trying so hard to just ignore the accidents and praise the successes, but it's SO hard! Thanks for the post.Sally HPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04321583478635164338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-70902851554101005742011-12-07T10:50:07.047-05:002011-12-07T10:50:07.047-05:00Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has c...Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has commented so far! Our youngest son is almost 7 and has 'accidents' during the day...both #1 and 2, but especially #2. He also is afraid to get his hands soiled, so we keep moist wipes on hand. <br /><br />I'm going to increase his fruits & fiber and get a stool for him to use so it's easier for him to go.FlourGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14018337025280790736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-3362474168126527612011-11-21T15:49:04.895-05:002011-11-21T15:49:04.895-05:00Hi everyone, DJ(blog author) here. I wanted to tha...Hi everyone, DJ(blog author) here. I wanted to thank all who are reading and continuing to comment on this post. My son is now almost seven and is ok all night. He now uses the toilet with no problem except remembering to get up and go to it in time. I'm not sure how much of this is laziness or the fact that he gets too involved in what he's doing and misses his bodies clues that it's time to go. We are still working on not waiting to the last minute and going before we leave the house, etc. I know it's difficult for many to deal with this everyday for years on end, but you are not alone. There is not one answer that works for everyone and for some of us, it seems time is the only thing that does. So I wish you all a speedy passage through this messy and frustrating stage! :)DJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11126713873653931118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-42123577927237033602011-11-21T15:17:40.517-05:002011-11-21T15:17:40.517-05:00continued
I am sure most people have tried all the...continued<br />I am sure most people have tried all the tricks in the book but these are the things that also helped and was suggested:<br /><br />lots of drinks during the day<br /><br />plenty of fruit and fibre<br /><br />a step at the toilet for his feet, so he can push down<br /><br />lots of praise when successful <br /><br />no critical remarks (although I was guilty of this at times)<br /><br />Privacy-he didn't like us being there while he did it and still doesn't<br /> <br /><br />We still use no pullups but we have the night time bedwetting, but feel this is ok but will not give in to the pullup as apparently it doesn't teach them to get the sensation and I just know he will use it to do a cheeky wee or poo first thing in the morning. I hope everybody who is struggling finds a way with their child to get them fully trained, as I found it very frustrating when I knew he could do it but just wouldn't! good luck and persevere they will get there in the end!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-51551904959728437052011-11-21T15:17:17.406-05:002011-11-21T15:17:17.406-05:00I really feel for people out there trying to get t...I really feel for people out there trying to get their kids sorted, what a wonderful site this is! I have gained some insight that may help me with my next conquest! and hope to offer others some of my own (finally successful) daytime experience that may :) or may not :( help others, but hope it only helps.<br /><br />After varying training successes with our other 2 boys, (our 1st son was potty trained day and night at about 2 and a half; and our 2nd son due to some problems with my 3rd son being hospitalised took until he was 3 and half yrs old3 and half yrs old); our 3rd son is now over 4 and a half and has just finally got the daytime sorted.<br /><br />He had medical complications which resulted in the first year of his life spent in hospital. After 3 stomach surgeries and only 50cm of his bowel left, he was on a drip at night at home administered by myself and my husband after being trained and has a condition called short gut syndrome, which equalled to chronic diarrhoea and even on a good day in the earlier years up to 12 nappies filled with very loose number 2's . Potty training was the last thing on our mind and just was not a priority.<br /><br />As he improved and came off the drip and signed off from various health professionals and starting full time school, the urgency to be independent on the toilet became an issue for others more than us, but this in time started to focus us on it.<br /><br />We did the normal things potties, books, reward charts, making his toilet into a persona (calling the sneaky poo a name) and so on and on. We would have accidents on the floor at times, after this went on for some time I suggested to him that if he continued to do this I would make him cleaned it up as after all it his mess (professional advice suggested this was ok as long as he didn't enjoy cleaning up otherwise the child might still enjoy making a mess and see clearing it up as a reward- eeeww). Fortunately our son didn't, so this worked, after a while of making him clean it up he stopped doing it. <br /><br />By taking him to the toilet every half an hour (even if he didn't want to); lots of praise if he did a wee or occasionally a poo; and a sticker chart, we got him semi dry during the day. He would mostly however refuse to do a poo on the toilet and would then of course sometimes have an accident and sometimes hold it. So when he came home he would look for a pullup and go off somewhere privately to do it. We didn't want to force him completely out of them until the main hospital said it was ok. Recently we had this appointment and they suggested that we did the right thing not forcing him, and they requested he had to come off soya egg and dairy again, which would help his bowel movement. After a week on this special diet I felt a motherly instinct to just get rid off the pullups and so hid them from him. He begged me for them and said the same old thing that 'it hurt' and so on, but didn't relent, even cried a few times about whether I was doing the right thing but felt I needed to be strong and continue. I just kept saying " you need to use the toilet, there are no pullups anymore, we all use the toilet and thats where you have to go". After 2 days of holding it he started to go for a poo on the toilet and had 2 accidents once when we were out, and once at school. He still reluctantly went (I might add with no pain whatsoever) and we bought him a lego figure each time for about a week, yes I know its a bit of bribery but it worked. He now goes without getting anything in return and will go to the toilet at school too. He also just takes himself off, wipes himself mostly etc. He is so proud of himself and I know he is happy about it all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-61635585510075763212011-10-12T16:20:38.609-04:002011-10-12T16:20:38.609-04:00This is my update to my July 14, 2010 commentary (...This is my update to my July 14, 2010 commentary (I had the son going into TK at that time; now he's in Kindergarten).<br />I finally solved the problem. How? you ask. Well, I cheated. I used my baby nurse's services. She trained my daughter a few years earlier, and earlier this year she trained my son. She was with him from Friday afternoon until Sunday night - when we got back, she announced that he was trained. And indeed he was. He hadn't made any BMs yet with her, but she said it would be no problem. It wasn't. I am happy to say say that my son goes to the bathroom by himself and does pretty well. Sure, he needs me to wipe him sometimes, although ususally he wipes himself. Sure, he sometimes has to be reminded to flush the toilet, or to wipe the seat. And sometimes he wets the bed at night. But these are little things. And I am ashamed to say that I didn't teach him. I still don't know how the heck to successfully potty train, and I've given up even trying. I'm grateful that I could afford to pay my baby nurse to potty train him - it was worth every penny. So, parents, there is another way: save up your money if you are able to do so, find a potty trainer you can trust, go away for the weekend, and let her work her magic.Andreanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-17141276238525428252011-09-16T00:56:33.473-04:002011-09-16T00:56:33.473-04:00I feel your pain and frustration. I've tried e...I feel your pain and frustration. I've tried everything with my daughter and just when I thought she had made serious improvements, she just faltered backwards this week like she doesn't even care again. I started training her before 2 yrs and she is 3 1/2. Wish I could come up with the answers to help. I feel like a terrible mom and must admit I have become pretty depressed over this. You aren't alone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-44101642185699200182011-01-31T21:11:19.565-05:002011-01-31T21:11:19.565-05:00I have a Five year old girl who still wets and poo...I have a Five year old girl who still wets and poos in her underwear even at school, I have no idea on what to do she is my fourth child and number six is on the way, she was born very early at 23 weeks but the doctors have said there is nothing wrong with her to explain the wetting and dirting of her underware, she was very good at going to the toilet during the day for about 6 months then she went backwards. Any ideas to helpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-10458918436551996442011-01-27T19:41:42.249-05:002011-01-27T19:41:42.249-05:00My daughter is driving me insane. She is 4 1/2 and...My daughter is driving me insane. She is 4 1/2 and had been potty trained for a good year when she started wetting the bed. so i got sick of washing sheets everyday for a good month and started putting her in pullups at night again. Well in the last few months now she wets herself 4-5 times a day at least and thats even going to the bathroom often. I have no clue what to do about her but she is turning into the stinky kid!! Its awfulAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-17643811629797531582011-01-02T20:45:30.019-05:002011-01-02T20:45:30.019-05:00My granddaughter is about to be 5 and is making NO...My granddaughter is about to be 5 and is making NO progress in potty training. Her mom has been working with her since she was 3 with no success. And she has no problem with having wet or dirty panties on. I just don't get it. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Suggestions can be sent to me at blmrwm@yahoo.com.<br />Thanks in advance for ANY help.<br />BeckyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-22999718139089226352010-11-22T13:42:33.444-05:002010-11-22T13:42:33.444-05:00I was always of the school of "don't pres...I was always of the school of "don't pressure them, it will happen when they're ready" but I am feeling at my wits end. I actually have feelings of anxiety over my youngest daughter, who will be four in February, and her lack of interest in being toilet trained. She has gone pee on the toilet, but could really take it or leave it. Sometimes she flat out resists it, and tells me that she does not want to go to the bathroom. <br /><br />Like a lot of the other posts, she does everything in her pull-ups and doesn't tell me. It is only when I catch an offensive whiff when she happens to come near me that I know that she has pooped. And she hates having me change her pooped-in pull-up, screams and cries, and I tell her every time that if she pooped on the toilet I wouldn't have to wipe her down. She knows it in her head, but isn't interested enough to actually make the effort.<br /><br /> I really did think I was the only one with this problem, and I hesitate talking about it to other moms who I know have kids who were early learners in regards to toilet training. I feel like I will be judged or thought of as lazy, and I admit that I am inconsistent, but I thought my youngest would be like my oldest.<br /><br />I never did any hardcore toilet training with my oldest, who is now six, and still wears underjams at bedtime due to her being a very deep sleeper. She began using the toilet when she was two, very rarely, for the occassional pee. The preschool she went to was very understanding that toilet training could be very challenging, and that the children were already dealing with changes and new transitions with beginning preschool, so there was no pressure to force her out of her pull-ups. So, in that relaxed atmosphere, shortly after starting preschool, and then turning three (she's a September birthday) she was out of pull-ups for daytime with very few accidents. I just assumed that it would be that easy with the next one, so I have just given her a lot of time and space...which right now makes me feel like I've been giving her too much time and space.<br /><br />This blog and all of the comments have been a Godsend, as I realize that I am not alone in my problems and frustrations.<br /><br />Thank you to all of you parents for your honesty and candidness. I really appreciate it, and am feeling more encouraged that this too shall pass, and with more consistency on the part of myself and my husband, with more encouragement, and with patience and understanding, she will learn to use the toilet.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-68818016315298123702010-10-27T16:29:34.413-04:002010-10-27T16:29:34.413-04:00ok, so here's my problem
my son is 6 years ol...ok, so here's my problem <br />my son is 6 years old. He will pee in the toilet,will not poop in the toilet for the life of me! I dont understand why? I have taken him to the doctor and then some they tell me to use the reward system and stay positive!<br />How do you stay positive when your six year old boys is pooping his pant and doesnt care where you are! now at this point he will lie to me and his father. hide it under the bed and where else we will not find it. im so mad at this point i just dont know what to do. I put him on the potty every hour to two and he will get off the toilet.and ten minutes later will poop in his pants. Hes also doing at school, I just dont know what to do!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-67714089156504186022010-09-02T00:54:33.887-04:002010-09-02T00:54:33.887-04:00just a thought . Read this am going to try tommorr...just a thought . Read this am going to try tommorrow. If they are ok on #1 but do # 2 in undies or whatever else. Stay home all day -maybe two or three days. Put them in a longer shirt w nothing else. See if they arent more prone to pooping in potty. At least theyll ask for underwear or pull up when the time comes and youll know to take em to potty. Will hopefully have good news to tell!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-48736163030163688692010-08-31T21:44:32.790-04:002010-08-31T21:44:32.790-04:00Yep, this all sounds like what we are going throug...Yep, this all sounds like what we are going through. OMG its frustrating! my daughter is 4 1/2 and has no interest in going to the toilet. She was nearly fully trained (day time) at 3yrs for a few months and then for no reason that I can see she decided to stop going all together. I have tried sticker charts, star charts, putting a program together with her kindy, asking my mum and dad to help take her and talk to her and of course constant reminders!!! I have been patient and encouraging to the point of being almost sickly and have always been really loving and gentle with her. Well today I lost it! #2 in her knickers for about the 100th time, and my patience is becoming non-existent. I took her to our paediatrician the other day and she said she thinks she is just a really dreamy child (which she is) but its so inconsistent because she is such a good little girl in every other way and I don't want to get angry with her but I don't know what else to do. I am missing appointments and my elder daughter is getting to school late because of accident emergencies, everyone seems to think there is something wrong with her or my parenting because she won't go to the toilet, I have now resorted to making her rinse her knickers as a way of hopefully teaching her but I feel really bad about that. A friend told me that it will help her take responsibility for her personal cleanliness but it feels a little harsh... I have also resorted to not letting her wear anything on her bottom at all at home now that the weather is warmer so that she has nothing to poo or wee into except the toilet! and she is definitly not scared of the toilet as she can see the tv from it and she uses it as a lounge chair and sometimes plays the guitar on it... she just won't pee or poo into it! She also has to start school in 5 months which is a little scary. Thinking of maybe getting the paediatrician to conduct some physiological tests, havn't done so yet as apparently the are quite invasive. The other thing I am about to try is taking her off all sugar which also has a laxative effect (that includes all high GI carbs) am hoping this might help with #2's. Fingers crossed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-42788634873213006362010-08-05T09:43:28.471-04:002010-08-05T09:43:28.471-04:00So nice to hear that other people are in the same ...So nice to hear that other people are in the same boat as us. My daughter is 3 and 2 months. She didn't show much interest until she was about 2 and 9 months. About that time she also suffered from a yeast infection then a UTI. We had to treat the UTI for 2 months and did not try to potty train and she became quite fond of her diaper at that time. Then she got a stomach bug and withheld her bowel for 2 and a half months. During that time I did try to potty train some because she was showing an interest again. We didn't go cold turkey from diapers because we did not want to encourage holding of either urine or bowel. I read in some of my extensive research to put the bowel in the potty and make them comfortable with it. That was great advice because soon after we did that she stopped holding her bowel!!! I am getting frustrated over the potty training because she is capable of holding her urine for hours and hours and doesn't have accidents. I don't want her to go too long without urinating because I am afraid she will get another UTI. I pray everyday for patience and hope that it will just click for her. My daughter sees pullups as another diaper too. Somedays she will be really interested in sitting on the potty and will take off her diaper or pull up to sit but most days she treats her diaper as a toilet. She is comfortable going around with nothing on or underwear but when she has to go she wants a diaper and will hold it until she gets one. I've resorted to doctoring her diapers. I've starting cutting the liner and taking out some of the absorbancy hoping it will either leak or be less comfortable for her. We shall see how that goes. <br />Rewards don't matter in the sense that they will motivate her. We started with rewarding for each step but are now to just rewarding for actually going but she doesn't care. She has only peed in the potty a handful of times. She is also very intelligent in some areas and I don't know if this could be a factor. She is also very tall and looks older than her age so I feel (self-imposed mostly) pressure for her to get out diapers. This is for sure the biggest challenge in parenting that I have faced so far. Good luck to all of you! Here's to hoping magical potty training to all the stubborn kids out there.Jennifernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-3465153935729564392010-07-25T00:13:40.176-04:002010-07-25T00:13:40.176-04:00Well, I think I have the oldest one...my daughter ...Well, I think I have the oldest one...my daughter is 6 1/2 and still will not go #2 on the toilet. She has been going #1 on the toilet since she was 3 1/2 consistently and has never had a nighttime accident, but I have no idea why she resists going #2. I have tried reward charts, extreme enthusiasm for when she will sit and at least try, but nothing works :( She was in kindergarten last year and thankfully, never had an accident at school, so I know she has some control ( but I am sooo worried about her starting first grade this year and being there a full day....don't know if she can/will hold it all day ). We have washed and/or thrown away so many pair of underwear. Our pediatrician suggested having diapers at home and telling her to request a diaper when she needs to go and then work on getting her to sit on the toilet with the diaper and eventually work on doing it without the diaper, but I am worried if we do that she will just start wanting to wear the diapers/pullups....she doesn't care if she soils herself and would go around all day that way if I let her :( It has made it so that I will not schedule playdates for fear she will have an accident. I don't know if it is a power struggle or not. When we talk about it she will promise me that she will go on the potty and seems to want to do it, but it just doesn't happen and I can almost never spot her going or I would grab her up and take her to the potty like I did when training her to go #1. Thank you everyone for your stories, I don't feel quite so alone and frustrated. Any and all suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!! Oh, she does have a speech delay ( mild ) and I have heard that some kids with delays do have a harder time training, but she is 6 1/2!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-85382897783168158562010-07-14T17:57:09.451-04:002010-07-14T17:57:09.451-04:00It is so nice to know that other people have 5-yea...It is so nice to know that other people have 5-year-olds who resist using the toilet. My almost-5-year-old wears underwear during the day and holds everything - until after 4p when he puts on a pull-up. He's not interested in rewards (or he's interested in them, but not about using the toilet to get them). I tried getting rid of his beloved changing table a year ago - it didn't work. (I got rid of an earlier potty chair because it was too small, and I heard requests for it for many months.) If I keep him in underwear he will soil the underwear rather than use the toilet. He's very resistant to my taking him to the toilet - he didn't use to be resistant, and I think that forcing him to stay there longer than he wants to backfired. Also, I'm ashamed to say that my husband and I aren't very good at being consistent toilet trainers. His older sister mostly learned on one weekend with a skilled overnight babysitter - I probably need to get her back with my 4-1/2-year-old. (She tried to help him a few years ago but said he wasn't ready.) Also, his younger brother is ready to be toilet trained, and unlike him doesn't resist being on the potty seat - should I train the younger without training the older? Should I disallow my resistant kid the use of his changing table? his pullups? We really need to deal with this. My son just doesn't want to use the toilet. I've told him that we will wipe him after he uses the toilet if he doesn't want to soil his hands. (He doesn't like soiling his hands - this could be part of the problem.) I've told him I am good at banishing bathroom monsters. I ask him politely if he wants to use the toilet. I force him on to the toilet and hold on while he kicks and screams. I've told him that I will give him swimming lessons, breakfast sandwiches, an ice cream cake, etc etc as rewards. Nothing works. My caregiver told me today that she was actually able to put him on the toilet without resistance yesterday when he asked for a pull-up (he didn't do anything though) - I almost fell over. And now he is beginning to have other kinds of trouble with his siblings.... He will be in transitional kindergarten next year, as he is an August birthday with a bit of a developmental delay. I guess I'll just hope that he stays dry at school. Perhaps I should get professional help. Comments? Thanks for listening.Andreanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-52623621097191111242010-07-13T00:18:02.111-04:002010-07-13T00:18:02.111-04:00I commented almost two years ago and I'm back....I commented almost two years ago and I'm back. My son is going to be four years old in a couple months and is great about #1 but not #2. I've had to throw away several pairs of underpants. Sometimes I am so discouraged I just want to put him back in diapers because I have been potty training him for a year and a half. What finally worked for your son? Also, I'd like to hear more why gifted children are later.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03724228599717695914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2984881181941900038.post-5037048848713669502010-07-05T13:45:27.756-04:002010-07-05T13:45:27.756-04:00Wow, some of these are really comforting and some ...Wow, some of these are really comforting and some are really disturbing... Especially that one about the potty training camp that tells you to shame and humiliate the child for having an accident. What was that all about?<br /><br />I got lucky with my first. She was an overachiever in this area and has always had excellent bladder control. I started early dropping hints, watching videos, presenting potties for her consideration. I guess I was an over-achiever too. By the time her brother was expected she was 3 1/2 and still in pull-ups most of the time, until we realized she was getting rashes from the two glue strips fastening the elastic to the absorbent portion in back. We put her in panties and with few accidents we were done for daytime, and nighttime was soon to follow. Ah, those were the days.<br /><br />My son didn't complete his until the age of 5. And he still wears pull-ups at night which does not bother me. It was a reality in my family that several of us would wake up wet in the morning. Genetic, I suppose. Also, heavy sleepers. To me, night pull-ups for older kids are nothing short of a miracle. I can save my son the humiliation I experienced for something I honestly could not help. I still haven't figured out why there are people who think bed-wetting is a wilfull act. How can you control something in your sleep?<br /><br />Now my third, just four years old last week, is marching up and down the stairs in a stew because I set the panties she chose herself several months ago on the couch to see how she responded. She tossed them over the arm of the couch and told me (on the verge of tears, mind you) that she is NOT a big girl and will not go to the IKEA playroom (mentioned as an incentive). I can see that she is getting neurotic about it and this is no time to carry out my original plan of putting panties on her and seeing how it went. She has resisted potty training for a long time now. So when she said she was not a big girl and would not go to the playroom, I said, "That's okay. I'm not putting the panties on you. I just got them out." I told her it was okay if she didn't go to the playroom. And I'm going to have to be aggressive now... in the subtlest and most sly manner I can achieve, feeding her the sort of info and hints that gently thaw that fear... No cold turkey, no obvious potty talk. It's not going to be easy. But I know her. If she's afraid, she's afraid. The more you try to talk her down, the more freaked out she gets. She can hold it quite a while, I've noticed, even wakes up with a dry pull-up. No, this potty training is going to have to be all in her head.<br /><br />Wish me luck.Number9https://www.blogger.com/profile/18359357261300641018noreply@blogger.com